From what I've been lead to believe, the standard Vodafone phone gives eleven rings before passing you on to it's voicemail. How I've come to know and memorise this, and what it's importance is, is simple.
It's the most common thing I hear, when I try to get in touch with the girl I love.
In order to avoid mass confusion, we'll start where you'd usually expect to, the beginning.
It all started 5 years ago now, when I met one of the most beautiful people I'm likely to ever meet. Small, funny, happy, caring.. And all the other things that would initially spark that reaction of attraction.
But she was unobtainable. As is always the story, right? You spend the better part of your time being slapped black and blue from people left and right, looking for somebody who you can connect with, and when you find them.. When you find them, they're unobtainable. There's a thousand and one reasons why they're unobtainable but because you're human, and stubborn, you still want them. and that's how it went. There was distance between us, she was in a relationship, I was in a relationship, one that I admit never should have been, but was.
Being who I was and still am though, I stuck with it.
We spoke and we spoke.. And we grew closer.. And some of those reasons that made her unobtainable left. Over a Christmas period my relationship had ended. Her own relationship grew to fizzle out. We spoke more, we grew even closer. But still, she was unobtainable. The more I learnt about this girl the more I realised I'd found myself lingering for somebody out of my league. I wasn't worthy to lick this girls boots, let alone hold her hand.
But isn't that always the way you feel, when you slowly find yourself tripping out over somebody in so many ways. She likes that band I like, She likes that film I like, She misses the old cereals that I miss..
And, just in case you're wondering.. Nirvana, Almost Famous, Lucky Charms.
Anyway, let's fast forward a little, the date is now April 30th 2006. The day I risked it all. And said "Fuck you" to all those thoughts of 'unobtainability'. We met, we kissed, we hugged. I held her hand.
I have a clock in my room as I type this, which hasn't been touched since that day. One of those old 'flip' clocks.. You know, where the day and date flip down in that very scoreboard fashion. It still reads "11:33 Sun 30". I refuse to touch it. That day was incredible. I suppose it's silly in a way, but I somehow feel if I don't touch that clock, I'll always feel closer to that day somehow. Like in this room I've captured that day, and I can hold onto it forever. And I like that thought.
So after that day, we spent time together whenever we could.. And skipping forward just a short while longer..
May 20th 2006. We became an item.
People talk about key moments in their life, and how you only get so many. No matter how limited the amount of those moments you can have, those two days, will always be counted.
Cutting to the now and today, as I write this it's 2:40am on the 27th October 2007, and we're still together. And I still love her. I have a knowledge inside me that tells me I always will. She completes me.
She always has. And we've solved a lot of problems we would have to face. I'm even planning on moving closer to her, so we can make the most of our time.
Or.. I was.
A few months ago I think we hit that bridge most couples do, in where it's sink or swim time. We started to argue. I needed more of her time.. She has decided to spend more and more time doing other things. Thus resulting in the majority of her time being taken up, I got what was left over, which, if I wasn't around usually resulted in a 5 minute phone call at the end of her day. Now to avoid all this from seeming like a biased argument I'll leave that side of things at that.
She told me she'd fix it. To get off her case about it.
At present day I'm still waiting.
I can't sleep anymore because of it. Every time I rest my head, I wonder if she knows what she's doing. I can't tell her of course because that results in her hitting the roof. And less time for me. And I don't know what to do. So I'm here, trying to sit it out.
Living my life in a nuclear bunker. Hoping that when I emerge, the sun still shines and she'll love me unconditionally as she has. But with all these hopes and fears, comes stress and paranoia. Am I kidding myself?
I've met the girl of my dreams. She's mine. I love her. We're together. And yet I can hardly get into her schedule. Getting in touch with her is sometimes even harder.. On the phone I bought her just to make her smile, she doesn't pick up..
I sometimes, just feel.. Like.. I don't know.
I'm in love with an answering machine.
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